Bringing the dead back to life

"...Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing."  Romans 4:17 (New Living Translation)

Sometimes a relationship dies or at least falls into a deep coma due to a completely civil "agreement to disagree".  Both parties play fair and are cordial to one another, but, over time, a distance forms in the relationship.  It is easy to justify this because of philosophical differences and easy to tell yourself that there is "no real problem" because both parties are civil and polite.  But, deep down, you know you miss the closeness that was once there.  You may substitute other activities and relationships where that one used to be.  And they may work.  But, still, you know something in your life is missing.

We experienced just such a "relational drift" with Steve's parents and siblings a few years ago.  We had to take some very firm stands on issues that we felt were non-negotiable for us.  We agreed to disagree in a civil manner, but the continental drift began to happen in the relationship.  Our holidays were spent with good friends, who became our "extended family". Phone conversations became further and further apart and more about business matters, like taxes and computers, and less about family happenings.

It wasn't that there was a lot of bad blood in the relationship.  There just wasn't much blood at all.  It was, to quote Mel Brooks' movie "Young Frankenstein": "mostly dead all day."

Then, about a year and a half ago, Gene and Linda Sue experienced the death of both of their mothers within a month of one another.  True to "Sue" form, the funerals of both these wonderful women were filled with family stories and pictures, giving us a wonderful portrait of their lives.  Even if you did not know either of these mothers before the funeral, you felt like you had known them all your life!  As grandchildren shared stories of  "Grandma", I knew I wanted that for my sons.  The separation in Steve's family had become big enough that our two younger sons did not have a good, working knowledge of who their grandparents were.

I began, prayerfully, to do what I could to change that.  We invited Steve's parents to a Chinese restaurant (their favorite food) and asked them questions about their days in cattle ranching, so the boys could hear old family stories.  Once, Steve's dad called to cancel one of our dinners due to busy-ness.  Steve urged him to keep the dinner date, which he did.

I began to call Steve's mom, just to chat about family stories, day-to-day happenings around our house.  Over time, the relationship warmed up, blood began to flow again, and warmth and natural movement returned to the relationship.  Steve's dad had a couple of medical emergencies in the last year that required an overnight stay in Fresno (they live near Oakhurst).  They felt comfortable enough in the relationship to stay in our home and let us move out of our bedroom so his dad could rest more comfortably.

Then, this Christmas, God brought our wonderful friends, who had become "extended family" and our natural family together in a most unexpected way!  Our friends bought a Bed and Breakfast this year about a mile up the road from Steve's parents in the little mountain community known as Nipinnawassee (Land of the Deer). Our tradition, for the last several years, has been to share Christmas dinner with these friends.  This year, our friends invited us and Steve's parents, as well as Steve's sister's family, to join them at the Bed and Breakfast.  It was a sweet time of fellowship, friends and family mingling.  As I watched our friends interacting with our family, I was amazed at the goodness of God, who would restore lifeblood to relationships grown cold from disagreement, and add to our family circle, not take away from it!
--Posted by Mama O.