I'm not going green

I am not going green! If I can help it.

Now don't get me wrong: I recycle, reuse, repurpose and respect the environment wherever I can. I'm not talking about that kind of green. I'm talking about another kind of green, the kind that occurs when I hear that someone else has succeeded or taken a great trip or accomplished a goal. I'm talking about going green with envy.

The other day, I opened my high school alumni newsletter, only to read that one of the students who was in my honor choir (The Oceanaires), albeit in a later decade, was now an opera star. The article featured pictures of her in various costumes and spoke of her world travels to perform. It harked back to her time in Oceanaires, the school honor choir, in sort of a "Who would have thought?" kind of a way.

I have to confess my first thought was very unspiritual. I envied this woman with her fascinating career and world travels. And I groused about my own lot in life.

"Being in honor choir never led to anything like that in my life," I grumbled to the washing machine.

A few days later, the newspaper featured an article about a local theater production. It gave a very honorable mention to an old acquaintance of mine who is designing costumes for many of the shows at this local theater. Again, my first thoughts were very unspiritual.

"What have I done to get my name in the paper?" I grumbled, again to the washing machine. The washing machine kindly pointed out that my name was not in the newspaper for any dirty laundry and I should be very grateful for that!

And then, I played "My Own Psychologist" and asked me, "How does it make you feel to envy other people's accomplishments and recognition?"

"Well, lousy," I had to answer honestly. "It doesn't create emotional peace and freedom. It makes me feel burnt out, like I am not getting as much notice as someone else, so I might as well stop doing the good things God has given me to do!"

Then I thought of a verse I have often read, Proverbs 14:30:

"A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones." (New International Version)

"A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body;
jealousy is like cancer in the bones." (New Living Translation, copyright 2007)

"A relaxed attitude lengthens life;
jealousy rots it away." (New Living Translation, copyright 1996)

Wow! Spiritual bone cancer! Envy literally eats up my insides and leaves me with poor health, both spiritually and physically speaking.

That perspective made my "green envy" look like the meatloaf that gets left on the back of the bottom shelf of the refrigerator for two months. It's green, alright. But poison green. Get-rid-of-it-as-fast-as-you-can green! That's the kind of green my envy is.

What can I do when the temptation to envy comes over me? Be thankful to God and to those around me for what I do have! I heard one of my favorite radio preachers say the other day that the most balanced, emotionally healthy people he knows are those who express gratitude on a regular basis--and they invite others to join them.

"Isn't that sunset beautiful?"

"Have you ever tasted such a delicious meal?"

"Aren't those cousins cute?"

So, my decision is to continue to recycle and respect the planet, but not to go green--with envy! And if you catch me talking "green with envy" talk, just remind me about the bone cancer comparison. It will make me stop!

--Posted by Mama O.